Be Present

Wow. I just had the craziest experience. I suppose you could say I’m distracted, focusing on one too many things, or scatterbrained?? “Eeep,” is all I have to say–regardless of whatever the reason/cause was.

I had been chatting on the phone with my sister and realized it was almost 8pm, so I quickly ended the conversation and jumped in my car to go to the gym. I had changed into my gym clothes hours earlier, but ended up getting the call…

I suppose I was distracted by my neighbor blasting his Christian Rock music in his garage while I was getting in my car, but as I drove along the road to my gym…and only when getting ready to turn in to the parking lot…I realized…I was wearing flip flops. :-/

Oy vey.

Really? I had NO IDEA whatsoever from the point of grabbing my water bottle and glasses…that I was wearing flip flops. Hmm. Scary, eh? Talk about being everywhere but THERE in the moment. Spooooooky. My brain was, uh…distracted? Dunno. It still creeps me out to think about it. I mean…what if I hadn’t even been wearing clothes and walked out of my house? 😮

I suppose that’s a far reach…but you get my point.

“I don’t think we realize just how fast we go until you stop for a minute and realize just how loud and how hectic your life is, and how easily distracted you can get.” –Meg Ryan

I’m living proof of that quote tonight. Embarrassingly enough.

P.S. And to answer your question if you’re wondering…I didn’t end up going back to the gym. I cleaned out my car instead. 😀

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August 13, 2014. Tags: , , , , , , , . High Desert Life. 1 comment.

/\/\/\STRESS\/\/\/\/

I was at the gym tonight reading a Fitness magazine from February.  (You could say I’m a little behind on reading for pleasure…)

There was an article discussing how small amounts of stress are actually good for people because it sharpens our minds and helps people think more clearly–interestingly enough.

However, it had a section within the story that talked about BAD STRESS (the kind where you just have TOO MUCH!!!) and how the effects of TOO MUCH stress lead to certain unwanted occurrences such as waking up early every morning.

Let’s see, since I have started teaching I am repeatedly (most nights) waking up at 3:00 am and tossing and turning until my alarm goes off at 5:45 am…

I know I have a lot of stress.  I feel like I am moderating it pretty well (continuing to exercise, eating fairly healthy, etc…) but I guess that’s not enough for me.

The article suggests doing deep belly breathing for 30-minutes twice a day.  Honestly, I dread sleeping nowadays since I know I’m going to toss and turn for most of the night.  Soooooo…I am going to give the belly breathing a try.  Anything to get a good night’s sleep. Ahhhhhhh.  Life.

 

“He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia. Many must have it.”
 Ernest Hemingway

April 9, 2014. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . High Desert Life, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Racy Topics in the Jacuzzi

I was working late last weekend and decided to go against my rule, “Don’t go to the gym late on a Friday or Saturday night” (Pick-up scene for all the hot studs pumping iron) and my even more important rule, “Don’t go into the jacuzzi at the gym past 7pm on those nights–EVER!” ;-) However, since I was tired and sore from sitting on my butt lesson planning all day (YES! I got a job actually TEACHING and using my very expensive teaching credential), I decided to “chance it” and GO.  I threw on my swimsuit, drove over to the gym, swam a bit, and then decided (at 7pm!!!) to go soak in the jacuzzi.  

There were a couple of people (in their 50′s-60′s) in it and neither was talking much, so I thought it would be safe to go in and not have to worry about being bothered.  Those people got out and left a few minutes after I got in and a guy in his 20′s and a man in his 50′s took their places.   I am always nervous about the conversations that will be started in the jacuzzi and usually deny people eye contact (not that doing so always works at keeping them from talking to me).  

I was staring off into space and stretching my tight leg muscles when all of a sudden the older man (let’s call him Larry) began to talk.  THANKFULLY he directed his query to the younger fellow (let’s call him Jim).  Well.  Larry ended up asking Jim if he was a “believer” and if he had “been saved.”  Jim responded awkwardly and mumbled something I couldn’t really hear.  The next thing I know Larry began telling Jim about how he needs to get married and settle down with ONE woman because that is heaven on earth.  LOL.  Jim was floating in the jacuzzi looking mighty confused and stumbling over his words, but being awfully polite.  The next thing I knew…Larry lunged toward Jim and jumped on him giving him a big bear hug!!! I could hardly contain myself.  I fortunately had already been soaking for 20-ish minutes and decided to leave at that point.  

I couldn’t help but smile as I left… Here all this time I have been worried about being “hit on” in the jacuzzi at the gym!!! Not around these parts in the High Desert, I guess!!! I suppose I should start to be concerned about the Christian Evangelists, though!!!! :-P

I bet I could write a reallllly interesting story based on the conversations that take place in that jacuzzi. ;-) TBC…

Stay relaxed, y’all!! 

September 7, 2013. Tags: , , , , , . High Desert Life. 1 comment.

Ummm, What Just Happened???

WARNING:  This blog is kind of a weird one.  Read at your own risk. :-p

It was 5:30 a.m. on Saturday (my official SLEEP-IN DAY)  when I woke-up to go to the bathroom. (groan)  After I went, I was able to fall back asleep quite quickly for me and ended up having such a peculiar experience, which I am about to share with you.

So.  Since I officially woke-up at 7:30-ish, I am figuring that it was 7:20-ish when I was aware that I was dreaming (although who really knows how much time passed throughout this whole experience I am blogging about?!?!?)  All right.  Here it is:  Here goes nothin’…

In my dream, I can remember being in my dad’s house, but the house was empty of everything–and the color of everything was all washed out–a kind of off-white, cream color, but it was as though I was looking through a sheer white curtain– and I was moving from one room to another in a very sci-fi movie kind of way…buzzing/flying almost…but my legs were glued together and I was moving in and out of rooms as though I were on a super fast conveyor belt (invisible conveyor belt…) from the kitchen to the front room–and I saw images of my father’s house flash before me and the walls were bare, and the color was pale/washed out, and I was the only one in the house.

THE NEXT THING I KNOW I was conscious of my body vibrating and I had a pressure in my ears as though I were on an airplane about to land (or take off, I guess) and my body could not move and I was shaking a bit, from what I remember.  Oh boy.  It was intense.  It was a really strange feeling.  My eyes were closed.  (I don’t think I could have opened them.)  I know I was laying straight/flat in my bed.  I remember thinking, hmm…I am aware of my mind, what I am feeling, my confusion, wondering what the heck was going on, but all the while being completely aware of all my bodily sensations.  I felt a pressure against my body as well.  Okay…am I freaking you out yet?

All I can say is that at first I wondered if I had been astral projecting?  But, after much research I discovered that I was lucid dreaming!~!~  AND I experienced sleep paralysis!~!~  SO COOL.  I am so cool.  I am 1 out of 10, y’all!  1 out of 10.  heehee   I was definitely not planning on lucidly dreaming Saturday morning…I wish I would have written down what I’d eaten the night before…my mental state when I went to bed.  Hrrrmmm.  Now that I know what I did I’m not that scared and kind of want to do it again.  ^^

“Dreams are more real than reality itself, they’re closer to the self.” ~ Gao Xingjian

May 17, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , . 2012, Dreams, High Desert Life, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Laryngitis? Me? Never! Well… now, I guess. :-?

I started my Student Teaching seminar in late August and since then I have been sick four times.  UGH.  What is UP  (or should I say down?) with my immune system??!   I have had three sinus infections (gee…am I experiencing deja vu???)  and now, I have laryngitis. 😮 Seriously?  I have never had laryngitis before.  It’s kind of a tricky illness.  My body isn’t achy…I *am* tired…but the main trouble of this illness is my very sore *sore* =ouch=pain=discomfort=tightness=no bueno throat and lots of pain when I swallow…a pesky cough that is often phlegmy when it wants to be (Oh, I know…TMI)…and well, a raspy voice that cuts in and out.  Reeeaaaaalllly weird.  You know?  I will start to talk (which, I KNOW I’m not supposed to be talking) and I will feel as though I’m speaking normally but not a whole lot comes out. 😦 Boo hoo hooooo.  I can’t talk!~!~!~!~  What a frightening experience.  I mean, Imma be a teacherrrrr.  Teachers need to do quite a bit of talking…Ay yie yie. 😦

Then of course I am thinking paranoid thoughts and am caught up on this girl I encountered while I was working as a Site Coordinator for a Parks and Recreation office years ago.  She and her fiance were getting married at one of my park sites in town.  Well.  I had never talked with her, only her mother.  Her mother, however, informed me that her daughter had a vocal cord disorder and couldn’t speak normally.  I was on-site during their marriage ceremony and could hear the girl talking into a microphone and it sounded like she had laryngitis!!! But,  laryngitis every day of your life?!?!?!?  How frightening.  It sounded as though she was fighting to get words out.  Lord.  Please don’t let that happen to me.  Amen.  <–Quick little prayer.  Say it with me–Amen!  Oh my goodness.

Oh, this poor woman from the '40s suffered just like I am. I feel ya sista'.

I need to kick this laryngitis stuff in the tushy.  Acute laryngitis lasts for three days or less.  This is Day Two for me.  Cross your fingers that the constant, nonstop warm ginger-lemon-honey tea I’m drinking will cure me.  Today is Sunday.  Lemme break my laryngitis experience down for y’all in case you’re ever in a similar situation:

Tuesday night:  TERRIBLE throat pain when I laid down in bed to go to sleep.

Wednesday: Woke up in total body pain (very flu-like feeling ) and a sore throat…body pain subsided after I was up for 1 hour.  Sucked on cough drops throughout the day and took DayQuil.

Thursday: Major throat pain when I swallowed…cough drops did NOT help the pain.

Friday afternoon, I came home from work and discovered I had a “sexy” hoarseness…raspy but,  my voice was still steady and fluid.

Friday night, my voice continued to get worse and worse, raspier and raspier…

Saturday: Tada!  I woke up with laryngitis!!! :-/   Very raspy, broken cough, too. Pain in throat=no bueno and I felt tired and weak.   I was home alone and so ended up making myself some chicken broth, vegetable porridge. Very healing. xoxo  However, I had to go to the dreaded Win-Co grocery store for ingredients and that probably stressed my body out so much that I backslid…just sayin’…that place is especially kuh-ray-zee because Thanksgiving is coming up.

Sunday: (*Today…)  It continues…and ooh~~today I am soooo phlegmy…icky icky icky.

Gots ta stay healthy!

I found this one quote on laryngitis… why not?  I prolly DO need to do some more listening…BUT it’s not my fault that I talk a lot!~!~!  I HAVE TO!!! I’m a kindergarten student teacher.

“Skillful listening is the best remedy for loneliness, loquaciousness, and laryngitis.” —William Arthur Ward

November 20, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , . Health, High Desert Life, Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Resistance

I’ve been feeling resistant a lot lately.  That is, I have been fighting (putting off, procrastinating, doing the opposite, etc) certain things I know I need to do.

Now that I have started my Student Teaching time, I have been instructed to keep a journal of my daily experiences and reflect on classroom time.  Well, whenever I am TOLD to keep a journal…I don’t. 😦 Whu-ohhhhh.  Goodness gracious.  I need to stop fighting against certain responsibilities I have in my life.

Also, along this same vein, my most recent RAW INITIATIVE has been most unsuccessful.  I have been feeling really resistant this time around and I want to pin it to the fact that the women who are running the initiative are so gung-ho about the process that it is causing me to RESIST the process.  Am I backward, or what?!? Or perhaps I feel that in both cases (needing to keep a journal and needing to eat raw foods) there are certain expectations of me that I am scared I won’t meet so I just blow them off completely? Argh*

Time for some internal dialoguing…dun dun dunnnn!  Wish me well.

“Resistance is thought transformed into feeling.  Change the thought that creates the resistance, and there is no more resistance.  –Robert Conklin

Thanks, buddy!  You just saved me at least 10 pages of writing!!! Now I can just jump ahead and figure out WHAT the negative thought is inside me in order to end the resistance.  I honestly think it is mostly related to my perfectionist tendencies…time to go back to my old self-hypnosis books! 😛

September 5, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , . High Desert Life, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Going Within

My mother used to tell me, “Stop chasing after an answer and go within.”

You see…I used to be quite the Guru-(cough, cough) chaser. Yah. I am not proud of it, but that’s how I USED TO be…

My obsession with gurus, and seeking and finding my *truth* began in college. Sophomore year. I don’t know what it was…I suppose the planets aligned “just so…” to make me start feeling a longing…a deep question from within that I felt I needed major answers to.

Golly gee, there’s been so many gurus (and one cult) that I followed, read books by, and attended seminars with that I probably couldn’t recount them all in a tidy laundry list here and now. Perhaps that should be my goal for my next blog? 🙂

Anyhoo, what has gotten me thinking about all of them and how I USED TO be (key wordssss) 😀 are all of the email newsletter lists I still subscribe to from so many people touting ideas for X, Y, and Z. And ya know, I don’t think I need any more ideas about X, Y, or Z, let alone P, Q or R nowadays. I am hunky dory about going along life’s meandering trail without their help, ideas, musings, etc.

So, what did I do this beautifully HOT morning up in California’s High Desert?? I UN-subscribed to a dozen (at least) email newsletters!!! And what a HUGE weight I released off of my shoulders! It’s amazing how E-junk can weigh me down just as easily as REAL, PHYSICAL, ACTUAL Junk in the Real World (JRW) . Ya know?

I’m glad something hit me this morning and made me understand that everything I need *IS* within me. Just think…all these years…mom WAS right. *sigh*

And if you DO want to know more, feel more, be more, see more (OK, I’ll stop being so sibyllic…) then GO WITHIN and start meditating/praying/staring at candles<–not joking…those practices will all help you get to a higher state of mind. 😀

“Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe directly we just experience our consciousness of the universe, our perception of it, so right, our only universe is perception.” –Alan Moore

June 14, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Health, High Desert Life, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

The California Basic Education Skills Test (CBEST)

I went and took the CBEST nearly a month ago. ((((I PASSED!!!!)))) ❗  PARTYYYYYYY!  WHOOOOOO!  heehee :mrgreen:

It was an early morning call time. 8am. My information paper said that everyone was expected to BE THERE at 8am. WELL. I’ll share with all of you future CBESTers that it’s great if you are there at 8am but *my* proctor didn’t even start passing test  materials out until 8:30. And then my TEST actually started at 8:50am after my proctor had finished reading her little schpeel to us about the procedure for the test.

Every prospective California educator (even prospective school counselors and psychologists, I believe) needs to take the CBEST. It’s a test that is meant to “assess educators’ basic reading, writing, and mathematics skills in the English language.”
(As I quote from their website *^-^*) http://www.cbest.nesinc.com/index.asp Check it out if you are interested…
La la laaaa

I started studying for my test a month before. I borrowed the KAPLAN study guide for the CBEST from my library. The book recommends starting to study one month before your test date. So, I was right on par! 😉 I strongly recommend that book for anyone who doesn’t feel über confident about his/her Math/English/Writing skills. I felt weak about my Math skills…so I practiced problem after problem after problem on all of the practice tests I could get my hands on. And look what happened to me–my Math score was higher than both of my Reading and Writing scores! HAHA 😆 Go figure…

In my opinion, I feel that the State of California has gone overboard with all of the burning hoops prospective educators need to jump through in order to become a teacher. Especially nowadays when jobs are scarce to none. Hmph* I’s is just-uh sayin’, tha’s all. 😐

So. One test down. Four to go. The CBEST was the bargain-priced test costing only $41.00 as of February 2011. I have three subtests within the CSET (California Subject Examinations for Teachers). Each subtest costs $70.00 to take. (So, $210.00 for my March 2011 test date) Each subtest tests on more than one subject. I’ll be tested on Reading, Writing, Literature, History (CA, U.S. and World), Science, Math, P.E., Human Development, and Music. And then I have to take the RICA. That test costs $130 for the written part. And I’m not even sure if I have to do both a written test and a video performance test which would be additional money. RICA stands for: Reading Instruction Competence Assessment and it is supposed to measure people’s abilities to teach Reading in the classroom. More about all of that fun stuff later.

March 28, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , . High Desert Life, Uncategorized. 3 comments.

Diary of a Hoarder’s Daughter

Oh somebody help me. I’ve been living with my father for three months now. Three months living with a hoarder. These are tough times, my friends. Just be grateful if you don’t know anyone who has this terrible condition.

Yes. It is a condition. To quote the all-knowing Wikipedia…

” Hoarding is the excessive acquisition of possessions (and failure to use or discard them), even if the items are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary. Compulsive hoarding impairs mobility(umm, YES!!!–shall I mention tripping over crapola everyday?!?!)  and interferes with basic activities, including cooking (how long does it take me to FIND anything in a kitchen drawer stuffed with hundreds of implements?), cleaning, showering, and sleeping. A person who engages in compulsive hoarding is commonly said to be a “pack rat“, in reference to that animal’s characteristic hoarding.”

Well. My father officially falls under the “pack rat” category. Thankfully, none of his acquisitions are UNSANITARY, oh Lord, that’s probably the next rung on the “compulsive hoarder’s ladder…” OH LORD! 😯

I need prayers, people.

Today was the fam’s semi-annual yard sale (someone please put me out of my misery :sad:) and let’s just say it’s two hours after the end of the “sale” and the fam is STILL packing things up to be put away. 🙄 I actually had a little excitement about the yard sale and getting RID OF some of this shtuff…but five minutes into setting-up, I realized my dad didn’t want me to put out 95% of the stuff I was putting out. 😡

Oh, don't I wish he'd sell his valuables for $0.25!!!

And guess what!? I realized that if I clean out a drawer or organize a space and make it tidy, he will add –10 times as much stuff– than had been there before. 😥 What’s a gal to do!? I need my OWN place, that’s what I need. 😉

This is an interesting quote:

“We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing.” –Billy Graham

See, dad? Share the wealth (cough, cough) Ummm, share your shtuff…GOODWILL! SALVO!! THRIFT STORES! Homeless! They’re all calling out to you!

 
 

March 26, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . High Desert Life, Uncategorized. 4 comments.

Attack of the Geese

I thought I would be adventurous and walk around the OTHER side of the lake for my morning walk. WELL. That wasn’t the best idea I’ve had in recent days…

So, I’m walking along this street, funny enough named Sea Gull Drive… 🙂 …and it’s a cul-de-sac and I can see that I’m nearing the end of it and at the end, I can see the glimmery, shimmery lake in front of me with two houses framing my view of the lake. And what else do I see? A totally random goose standing in the middle of the street. Just chillin’. 😛 (There is a huge gaggle of Canadian geese that lives on the golf course and the lake…maybe 40 geese?)

Here are some of them! They're aggressive!

So, yah. These geese are NUTS and scarier than stray, foaming-at-the-mouth dogs. I mean, I’ve had mini-encounters with them before but never as scary as the attack I survived today. WHAT CAN I SAY!? I need a treadmill ’cause I can’t be risking my life walking these streets anymore. HAHA

So getting back to the chillin’ goose. She was just like, la, la, laaaaa… enjoying life an’ all. I thought she was the cutest thing ever. Then I saw two more geese standing on the driveway of the house on the right. And so I whipped out my camera phone to snap a shot to send to my sister. 😀 One of the driveway ganders let out a loud horn honking noise and I was concerned that he was giving me a get lost, pork chop warning…but I kept snapping away, smiling and enjoying the moment. There I was in the middle of Sea Gull Drive’s cul-de-sac with a few geese on a beautiful, clear-skied, breezy February morning. Life was grand, right?

Wellllll, as I was snapping shots of the geese just hangin’ out, all of a sudden about five more geese CHARGED toward me squawking, flailing their wings all about, opening their mouths for a nice bite! OH! They came from the other house’s driveway at my left!!! AAAAACK! I hadn’t even noticed them. 😯 So, I obviously screamed and started running down the street turning back around frequently to make sure the birds weren’t keeping chase. One was! I’m sure it was the head gander who wanted me dead. But, I continued to scream and run down the street. Whew. Close one. I survived yet another near death situation. 😉 Ay yie yieeeee.

So I decided to do my research before writing my little goose incident blog. Turns out:

  • Geese are territorial animals, especially during nesting season (SPRINGTIME!!!!!=NOW!!!!), when reports of goose attacks increase.
  • The male goose is protecting the female and the nest from perceived threats.  NO DOY.
  • If the gander sounds a warning, that is your signal to leave the area. HAHAHA…would have been good to know…
  • Maintain eye contact. Geese have excellent vision and interpret loss of eye contact as an act of fear.
  • Stay calm. Don’t yell or try to hit the male goose. The female may join the attack and then you will be in real trouble.
  • Keep your body facing directly toward the goose. Never turn your back on an attacking goose. Unless of course you’re CT and a super fast runner 😛 —or just lucky as heck to get away without a flying attack being brought upon you. 😀
  • Walk backward slowly if the goose hisses at you or spreads its wings. Or just run like the wind screaming your heads off, peeps!!!

So that’s your Geese Lesson for the day, y’all! To all of my fellow people around the planet who live near geese…stay safe this nesting season! Watch out! Those geese are kuh—-ray—–zeeeeee! 🙂

Here’s a good one 😀

“If you feel the urge, don’t be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway? –Will Rogers

February 24, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , . High Desert Life, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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