Challenging Times in Romance Land

Romance is a tricky thing.  I looked up an article today to educate myself about how to more effectively communicate my desires for my partner to do certain “tidying up” things around the apartment more often.  Why must you spend the time looking up such trivial things on the Internet, you ask me in boredom??  Well, it is because, as I have been constantly reminded by my partner, I come off as insulting whenever I do it “naturally/on my own”–without the help of strangers who write Self-Help columns for people with relationship roadblocks to constantly jump over. People like me.

All I want is for my partner to DO these things…NATURALLY…like I do.  Is this too much to ask in life?  Say for example, when I see that the contents of our recyclables container are about to spill over…I take it out.  I recently began to take it very personally and began feeling insulted that I am always (except once) the one to take out the recyclables.  I began telling myself, Well, there is no concern for keeping our apartment tidy, now, is there? or Well…someone must certainly be impressed by how the recycling container never gets too full. WOW.”

So, thankfully the first article I pulled up was this great piece:

http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/03/18/can-i-use-loa-to-get-my-husband-to-take-out-the-trash/

And now I realize that I have been equating the lack of household chore participation with a lack of care and/or respect for me.  How terrible.  😦  Now all I need is the follow-up article that discusses lots more tips and tricks to use in order for me to change my thinking.  Wish me luuuuuuuck.

“The world only goes ’round by misunderstanding.”  –Charles Boudelaire

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October 24, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , . 2012, Uncategorized.

2 Comments

  1. Osea Nelson replied:

    Great post and insight. For some reason (and I think it has to do with the few things we pick up as we get older), I’m reminded that real love requires no reciprocation. . .in fact giving without expecting receiving is maybe the key to most everything. Doing so somehow eviscerates the worst parts of the ego. But there’s not much any of us can do about the trajectory our lives are taking, , ,except watch. . .in wonder.

  2. Lynn replied:

    I feel like this a lot at work and when I was dating a few who shall remain nameless. I think taking out the trash even before it overflows and those kinds of things are being considerate, but not everyone thinks about that stuff or even feels it’s important. So, I guess you need to explain what you do and your rationale behind it, maybe that will make the other person more aware of the fact that not doing these things bothers you. Like not filling up the freaking prescription vials bothers me.:)

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