The World’s Largest Feminine Protection–EVER!!!

HAHAHAHAHA. OK. So, I am bored. Obviously. Ummm. Yah, I am.

I am also slightly uninhibted at the moment. You get my drift. Maybe not? Oh well. Moving on:

Tonight I was with a couple of friends and the topic of a woman’s monthly cycle came up in conversation. ^^

Wellllll, I came home after the gathering and realized that my apartment is a mess and started tidying up, as usual. It’s a constant battle here in this apartment of mine this year. It just does NOT want to stay tidy. It is quite rebellious.

I was tossing some misplaced items inside my closet when I saw a bag of maxi pads I had bought from E-mart earlier this year. I bought these pads as part of a BULK SALE package. If you have been to Korea or any other country which sells items in BULK packaging (meaning…they tape together a bunch of related items and sell them all as a package for a “special” price) then you know what I’m talking about. Well, I’m ALLL about the BULK sales!!!! Oh yah!!! Sign me up!  And feminine protection BULK!?!?!? WHHHHOOOO!  If I can get 9 packages of pads or tampons for the price of 6–you can be sure I’ll be throwing the gigantic wad of pad/tampon bags into my cart. Who cares that they might need to be bagged in 4 different shopping bags to accommodate their gi-normous size and girth?!?!? I’m saving big bucks!

Soooo, yes. I bought a year’s supply of pads from E-mart when I first arrived in Korea this time because the E-Mart people had taped up something like 12 bags including liners, light flow, medium-light, medium, medium-heavy flow, and super duper the-surf-is-UP flow pads all toegther. Brilliant! So, I tossed a few BULK sale packages into my cart and sashayed over to the checkout.

Oh, sorry….I digress. What I mean to be writing about it actually the WORLD’S LARGEST FEMININE PROTECTION–EVER!!~!!~~!!  This ain’t no joke, peeps. I’ve got them right here in my apartment in Korea. Now, all I know is that the biggest of the big in America are HALF THE SIZE of these. And well, *most* Korean women’s butts are HALF THE SIZE of American women’s butts…so I’m kind of confused at why these heavy duty nighttime pads are so frickin’ humongous???  I might have thought that I actually got a free package of DEPENDS (incontinence pads) if there weren’t a moon and the ubiquitous outline of a maxi pad on the bag itself… These suckers are HUGEEEEE!  hahahahahah  🙂

Note to the women: if you are in a serious relationship and the boyfriend/husband/partner is around…I wouldn’t wear one of these.  They might freak out and think you’re wearing a diaper.

Moving on: So, I took one out of the package and thought, holy moly!  Whooooaaa baby!!!! It’s THICK, too!!!!

And well, the piece de resistance quality is the fact that one pad is  17 cm WIDE!!! (almost 7 inches for my U.S. peeps) and —-40—- cm long!~!~!~!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  (that’s almost 16 inches long!!!!)

Enjoy the pics and buyer beware!

“If men could menstruate … clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much. … Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali’s Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields — “For Those Light Bachelor Days.”—Gloria Steinem!!!  (BTW!!!  I met her!!!)

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May 25, 2010. Tags: , , , , . Uncategorized.

15 Comments

  1. Osea replied:

    “the surf is UP” flow. . . . Hahahahahaha! You’re firing on all 8 cylinders, lady! Great post (as usual).
    (And being a guy, I resemble your disparaging remarks! :-))

  2. Osea replied:

    Oh, dish on meeting Gloria Steinem.

    • grasshoppergrrl replied:

      I went to hear her speak at the Skirball Center in Los Angeles while I was still in college! I sat in the FRONT ROW, CENTER!!! After her lecture, I ran up to her and shook her hand and told her how wonderful I think she is. ^^ It was so cool. She has such friendly eyes and a nice, warm smile. She was wearing black leather pants and a comfy sweater. 😉 Good times, good times.

  3. lynn replied:

    The HAVE to be incontinence pads. How do you wear those without looking like you are wearing a diaper? On second thought, that’s why they were discounted.

  4. lynn replied:

    The HAVE to be incontinence pads. How do you wear those without looking like you are wearing a diaper? At that size they should just make them like incontinence briefs. That’s why they were discounted.

  5. Prexus Swyftwynd replied:

    These remind me of the Always Maxi Pads Overnight Extra Heavy Flow in the US (since they don’t sell them in Canada =\). Those ones are about 15″ or ~39cm’s and pretty much on-par with the one you are holding. From what I understand, these are not likely to be incontinence pads since most incontinence pads have a very different design for the fronts and backs as well as the coverage area.

    You’re absolutely right on why Asian women need something this big, especially because most of them are quite small in stature, even disregarding their butts 😛 I suppose something like that was designed in-mind to last all night, but I swear those things will give an overnight flow + more (obviously changing it in the morning for hygienic reason though). It’s unusual to see a pad of that size in North America, although it is quite common in Asia. Kotex, Laurier and Sofy have an assortment of 40cm+ length pads, both ultra thins and regular maxi thickness.

    Feminine hygiene products are excellent to buy in bulk, since unless you’re nearing menopause, you’ll be needing them at one point or another 😆 When worn regularly and with non-tight pants, it is not as noticeable as you would think. If you’re wearing really tight pants or in your undies, then ya, you’re on your own, HAH. Even the 40.5cm Sofy Overnights my girlfriend used to wear would not be visible through her jeans 🙂 No worries!

  6. Sher replied:

    HAHHAHA
    Only you, Darling! Only you!!
    YAaaaaaHooooo for bulk sales. I am sitting here visualizing you carrying the various packages strolling through the town aiming for home sweet home.

    [[[walks away giggling]]]

  7. Lindsey replied:

    I seriously want these so bad! I know I’m not the only girl out there who has that problem where during the night sleeping on my back, gravity takes its turn and I wake up with stains on the backside of my underwear….like seriously. It travels down my buttcrack. I wake up with a drop on the pad and the rest on my arse! OR if I sleep on my front side, it all leaks to the front!!! These pads are perfect!!

  8. Tessa replied:

    You should have modeled them for us. Those look like Always overnights. I wear those kind and they are huge. It’s either that or a diaper though… of which yes, I have worn Pampers Cruisers in the size 6 to bed before. lol 🙂

  9. Patricia Lopez replied:

    So what are the names of these?! Maybe I can find them in ebay?

    • grasshoppergrrl replied:

      Haha. They are just “regular” Always brand maxis sold in South Korea. 😀 Jumbo-sized! Good luck!

  10. Pippa replied:

    Well, I’m a girl who loves her thick maxi-pads (feel soft and comfy) and would wear one of those bulky pads in a second if they were available here in the States!

    Pippa.

  11. muppditt replied:

    I have seen this special kind of underwear when I shop for panties on some Japanese websites. They are special ‘sanitary underwear’ that are LARGE and have a very wide gusset (the crotch part). They must be made to accommadate this type of brochosaurus pad!

  12. Nick replied:

    WOW. Erm well maybe they’re a period/urine pad combo? all I know is in asia its a thing for women to use diapers to avoid bathroom breaks, It makes it more convenient apparently. maybe thats what the design was aimed for.

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