~~Love is in the air ~~

It’s spring…and love seems to be the topic of conversation among my friends lately. I was listening to one of my gurus, Sandra Anne Taylor yesterday…and she was talking about breaking negative habits (including ending negative relationships). Her topic centered on relationships that were simply habits and not actual relationships. I began to think of the people I know in relationships here in Korea (and back home) and how many of them are simply habits and not actual relationships.

I am pretty much quoting what she said in her podcast yesterday from here on out:

“If you are in a relationship, ask yourself the question: ‘Does this relationship honor me?’   There are 3 elements to a healthy relationship: RESPECT, RECIPROCITY and COMMUNICATION.  Relationships can be habits, too. It’s hard to say you’re leaving a relationship. It’s very difficult to leave. But, it’s important to ask yourself if you have all 3 things.

1st: respect—If you don’t have respect, the person is not relating to you;  they are dismissing, abusing, neglecting, or negating you.

2nd: reciprocity— This is when you feel that there’s an equal interest and effort in the relationship–(not equal money or time as far as domestic stuff is concerned) It’s about the effort put forth into the relationship. If you don’t have reciprocity then the person is not relating to you…they are using you as some sort of service, etc.

3rd:  communication— If you don’t have intimate communication, then the person is not relating to you. You can’t relate without intimate communication.

So, these are  ways we get honoroed or dishonored in a relationship. It’s important to identify them. Ask yourself, do you want to stay in that habit? “

After I listened to her podcast I thought about all the men I’d met in my life.  I haven’t read her book, “Secrets of Attraction” but I think it’d be an interesting read.

I did, however read an excerpt from the book where she tells the story of Eros and Psyche to illustrate the truth about fear destroying a relationship.  Fear. I think my ego has ruined most of my potential relationships. But, what is the ego?  It’s wrapped in a blanket of fear–for most people.

“Clouds will rage and storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms. Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around, but you will be safe in my arms.”—Plumb

“When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you… When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you… When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you… Now that I love you, I’m afraid to lose you.”—Unk.


May 7, 2010. Uncategorized.


  1. Osea replied:

    Let’s hear what love is to you. It’s so many things to me–anticipation, joy of the presence, sensualness, sexuality, tenderness, smell of. . ., happy happiness. . .

  2. Melissa replied:

    I heard somewhere that love is being recognized by another. I like to think of it as a kind of recognition of the self and also the other.

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