EEK~~~It’s NOT happening! Is it? FPB!?!?!?

Lord have mercy. I am NOT experiencing this. No. Not me. I’m half Indian for goodness’ sake.

Quick segue before I actually divulge what the heck I’m talking about:

During my first 2 years in Korea, I met a handful of girls who complained about losing their hair in larger-than-normal amounts since they had arrived in Korea. And I would listen. And I would think, “gee…that sucks.” But I went on with my life thinking very little else about their situation.

Now…Year 3 in Korea. And I have been noticing my hair is thinning at the front of my head. &%*&!^(@&!)@*)!(&@$%@&^@$%^&#!&@^(!*&@()*!)&*(#(*^!$#&*%$*&@^#(!*&@)!@&!

This is no F*ing laughing matter. Seriously? Female Pattern Baldness? Moi? Lil’ ol’ ME!??!!?!? No. Never. Ever. &^#(*!@&!*@)(!*)(!*@()!*@)(!*@()!@*()!*@)(*@)(!*@()!@**!#^&#%!^!$%^@&%!@^&%!@&*^@&!*^!@

(((((((breathe)))))))

(((((((breathe)))))))

&%$&*@^#(*@&()*!)(*@)!(*@)(&&$^#&*$%(*!&#)*!)*_@(!)@()!#&*&%$#^&!^@%!*&^@(&!@)&!)@(*

(((((((break something))))))

(((((((sssccrrrrreeeaaaaaammmm)))))))

K.

I’m all right.

What I am trying to convey is that I am most definitely freaking out about this and am puzzled, perplexed, thrown for a loop…etc.

I can see my scalp (sniff, sniff), what is going on? Why?

I Googled female patten baldness and….sighhhh…read about it a bit. It seems to be caused by hormone imbalances. Bravo. I really thought it was the kimchi. I blame that shit for everything bad that happens to me here.

So, I called my sister who has a dental situation going on right now (think pus-filled sac…) and I told her that I trump her pus-filled sac with my female pattern baldness and cellulite creeping its way down to my knees. I just love being a woman.

More on FPB later. I know you’ll be itching in your seats to read more.

And so… during this time of stress about balding…I can only think of one quote that *kind of* eases the sting…

“Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.” — Aesop

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February 23, 2010. Tags: , , , , , . Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Commoner turned Celebrity

So, a friend and I went to see a belly dance show in Seoul today. It was an all-day event with a competition in the early afternoon and then two professional performance shows in the evening. Anyway, I knew there would be “big names” in the belly dance community there, so I told my friend to wear her fancy jewelry and make-up so we would look good when we took pictures with the cast members of the show.

Well, seeing as we live in a new, small city and have sketchy bus service to our home–we felt the need to immediately head home after the show ended at 10:15pm…So, we hopped in a cab and gratefully caught one of the last buses to our city with no problem. Although, we hadn’t taken a picture with any belly dancers…(sniff, sniff).

But earlier in the evening we were leaving the performance venue to go get some food. On our way out, we were stopped by a Korean woman who held out her hand to me and asked, “Can I take a picture with you?” And I thought…”hmm, she probably wants me to take a picture OF her…”And so I asked her to clarify and it was a little awkward for a moment while we were each figuring out what the other was trying to communicate. After the moment had passed, my friend and I looked at each other like, “O.K. The woman actually wants to take a picture WITH me.” And it was sort of humorous but I felt silly because there was absolutely no reason why she should have wanted to take a picture with me. My friend and I both joked that the lady must have  thought I was part of the belly dance show. (My eye make-up must have been THAT good.)  😀

So, there I was…a commoner turned celebrity. Only in Korea, peeps! Love it!!

February 21, 2010. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Bye bye Yoga Ball…

Wellll, I had my 75cm yoga stretch ball for all of 5 days before it popped. This is the time in life when I become more aware of the impermanence of all things. Yoga stretch balls included.

I didn’t appreciate my ball that much. It was quite big, actually and I didn’t have a proper resting place for it in my box-sized apartment. So, I would kick it around while I would move to and fro across my living space’s floor.

So, last night after I did some back stretches on it, I hopped off and went into the bathroom (paying no attention to where my yoga stretch ball had rolled as usual…) forgetting that I had my Korean-style space heater ON with its exposed heating coils, until all of a sudden from the bathroom I heard a loud WHOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHH as though my gas line had exploded or something. (I don’t have a gas stove…it’s electric!) And I thought, “Ah shit. My ball hit the heater.”

And it had. And the heater melted a nice sized hole in my ball and it POPPED/melted I guess you could say. But saying my ball “melted…?” eh~~~ doesn’t have the same visual as “popped,” now does it?

Goodbye yoga stretch ball. You were a part of my life for less than a week. I did appreciate you. I don’t appreciate spending 20 bucks on you and having you die all of a sudden.

“The First thing to understand about the universe is that no condition is “good” or “bad.” It just is. So stop making value judgments. The second thing to know is that all conditions are temporary. Nothing stays the same, nothing remains static. Which way a thing changes depends on you.”    —-Neale Donald Walsch–Conversations with God, Book I


February 13, 2010. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Pinched cheek

I have been thinking about the people in my life lately. I am living in a certain place, surrounded by certain people. And I wonder what it is that brings me and certain people closer together and not certain other people who I might be close to in proximity. Anyway, I was talking with someone yesterday, asked a simple question, and she pinched my cheek in an “oh- you’re-so-cute -I-just- have-to-pinch-your-cheek-5-year-old-experience” way. Oh Lord.  (insert eye roll)

I am taking an online course now that is supposed to help me explore old experiences and draw from them “lessons” and “clues” about why my life is the way it is now and give me a greater perspective on how to CHANGE my life in to the life I wish to lead. A life that doesn’t include people pinching my cheek because I’d asked an oh-so-cute question.

I am no longer 5 years old although I am gaining clarity on why people treat me as an innocent, sweet, cute “girl.” It’s no help living in a society that lauds adolescent-acting and dressing in adult women. The woman at the bank, pregnant and in her mid-late 30’s was wearing a lavender bow on the side of her head yesterday. It’s CUTE. Maybe I should interpret my cheek pinching as a compliment? Err…

Now that I’m aware of my personal desire to become OTHER THAN “cute” I can take the steps and actions to transform into a more MATURE version of moi. 😀 Baby steps, of course.  (insert baby giggle here)

Wha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

February 11, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

The beginning.

One day while I was home in California my mother asked me if I knew who a certain journal/diary belonged to. I told her it wasn’t mine and that it was probably my sister’s. She started thumbing through it while we continued talking about other things. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, “Taylor–this has to be your diary. You’re the only one who would write about mashing bananas.”

And so begins my blog.

🙂

February 6, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.